The victim

 

As a teenager, I enjoyed reading a lot and something I read back then got stuck in my brain. Even over the years when I think of it, the notion does seem right. The article was about a woman who felt like a victim most her life. It described how events happened over years and caused her suffering. The mindset that she had followed was that of a victim. How she was mistreated and endured bad relations, bad luck etc. The author then suggested changing the mindset to that of authority. He suggested owning her mistakes and taking responsibility for the doubtful and timid approach that was running her life.

Depressed mindset

During a bad phase or depressed state of mind, we tend to overthink of all the horrible things that happened to us. It could be a vicious circle, we fall into deeper sorrows and bring out more unfortunate events upon us. The abilities of judgement and common sense just become foggy and then begins a long painful journey of the victim.

Is there a strong pattern to these gloomy predictions for the person already in an upset state? Our mind works in mysterious ways, we have the ability of decision making and considering all pros and cons at a given moment the choice is made. If we always incline towards the dangerous and unknown to earn more positive experiences we tend to move in that direction. A person who has bad experiences will remember the trauma and plight related to it and reduce the risks they might take. As there are fewer opportunities the outcome is in a small range.

Risk takers win

There are research articles on the wealthy 1% of the population that owns the maximum money world. Is it comparable to the idea of achieving satisfaction or accomplishments in life? The pool of successful outcome multiplies as more investment is added to it.  A million dollar loss to a billionaire is not as traumatic as it would be for a freshly graduated business enthusiast.

Shock and grief

I was researching about grief when a death in family shocked us all. It clearly indicated we go into a stage of fear and stress. It is a bad combination for a person juggling to be normal and overcome the sorrow. Even our brains hardwire the neural networks through same paths of depression and risk-avoiding behavior. Just like the flight or fight situation, we always run away from the issues. The most helpful suggestion included breaking these upsetting channels. How positive affirmations and a quick reminder that nothing is permanent, can help combat the issue. To try soothing activities and avert mind from falling into the loop of negativity.

Let positivity prevail

The person feeling victimized cannot control how other people behave towards them, but they can control how they project themselves to the world. If we can break the fear of the unknown and take some risk without contemplating about the outcome, there can be better things waiting for us. Own our actions and believe that uncertainty lies at every step, but it shouldn’t stop us from trying new paths. Let me know what you think. Share and speak up.

 

 

The Ocean Welcomes Me Back

Ocean calls us..so stirring.

 

Siblings over time

A sister is like your shadow, she follows you around.

She is your second chance in life, to recrify errors and mistakes compound.

A secret keeper and a reflection of your family bonds & values.

The giggle of pranks long forgotten and the ties to never ending squabbles.

Year by year the threads are woven into intermittent pattern of sisterhood.

You fight, you love and you rearrange opinions, you push then closer you come.

There is this person so opposite of your likeness, yet similarities are undeniable.

If siblings you have, you can see the world in a different light. It is new viewpoint, like you regained sight.

Read in between the lines, I am praising you out loud, please don’t mind.

Having a sibling is a blessed time, lucky are all those who call you mine.

 

Hire me if you dare!

The global hiring system is totally broken,
Joblessness is not something I’ve chosen.

I went to school, spent thousands and got my grades,
now you won’t even interview me, to judge my shades.

How long do you think this will go on?
Without a job, no money, now I can’t possibly live on.

Computer technology can scan my resume out of thousands,
But how can I pay the bills, live and travel the miles?

My family despises broke side of me and once dear, friends are gone,
The references changed jobs, now I try to find some colleagues known.

Don’t push me into this loop of unemployable hopelessness
Consider seeing beyond what the work history says.

I can work hard, learn and certainly prove my worth,
It will only take few minutes of discussion on open turf

Economy changed, loonie got strong and profits went high,
Increasing interest rates, rent and groceries cost a fortune, sigh!

What kind of society is this turning into?
Spend, lose, repeat, such a misearable plight.

We are getting worse socially in every way,
Sitting here frustrated, I wonder when I’ll find job for pay.

 

Ode to Grandma

On March 3rd my maternal grandma passed away. I will always remember how strong and jolly she was. These are my feelings and thoughts that poured out.

My grandma and mom

बैठे बैठे याद करू मैं, पल जो बिताए साथ मे हम ने.
कितना दिल चाहे एक आखरी मुलाकात करू मैं.

दिखती है तू अपनी नानी जैसी, कहते है लोग कभी,
अब लगता है क्यू नही मैं सयानी अपनी नानी जैसी अभी.

मेरी नानी के थे चाँदी से बाल,
सोने का उनका दिल भी था कमाल.

हाथ पकड़ कर मंदिर ले जाती वो,
पिसता, बादाम, मिशरी और किशमीस भी खिलाती वो.

पढ़ने मे थोड़ा और मंन लगाओ बेटा,
ममी को ना इतना सताओ बेटा.

मेरी तो छात्रा भी बन जाती वो,
जब ABCD का सांग रटन लगती वो.

हंसा बेन के नाम से सब ने उनको जाना,
पेर मेरी तो प्यारी ननिजी थी वो.

गीले शिकवे भुलाना, आगे बढ़ते जाना,
हिम्मत कभी ना हारना, दर के ना भाग आना.

सबक सिखाए सारे, बिन कहे हमेशा मुस्कुरये,
भक्ति की तकोरजी की अपने, बाल गोपाल ही उनके मंन भाए.

प्यार से वो बुलाती थी, यहाँ आओ बेटा एक बात काहु,
सिरने बिता के प्यार दुलार कर जाती थी वो.

गंगा, यमुना और नर्मदा सब मे डुबकी लगा के आई थी वो,
हरिद्वार, मथुरा और हिमालय भी पोहॉंच के आई थी वो.

जब भी मंन भटक जाता है, मौत से या बीमारी से भयबीत होता है,
नानी को अपने मैं याद करती हू, उनके साहस से खुद मे विश्वास भरती हू.

आज आप नही हो इस दुनिया मे, लेकिन,
याद हमेशा आप के कोमल स्पर्श को करती हू.

कुछ बातों मे मैं काश थोड़ी तो बन पौउ अपनी प्यारी नानी जैसी,
दिल मे हमेशा रहोगे आप हमारी प्रिया कहानी जैसे.

Translation
As I sit here and think about the happy moments we shared together,
My heart longs for meeting you one last time.

‘You look like your grandma’, many people would say,
Today I wonder why I am not just as wise as her again.

My grandma had silver long hair,
She had an amazing heart of gold.

She held my baby hands & took me to the temples,
Always gave us sweet treats of pistas, almonds and raisins galore.

Sit down to finish your studies dear!
Don’t cause your mother too much stress dear!

She even played a student with me,
As we learned ABCs in pretend play school acts.

Hansa ben was her popular name,
But for me she will always be my grandma dear.

Let go of the grudges, keep moving ahead in life,
Never give up and don’t quit under fear.

Her life lessons will always stay, her precious smile leads  ahead,
Devotee of Lord Krishna, she was keen on praying.

Lovingly she would call us, come here I’ll tell you something dear,
All she wanted was her kids to be near.

Ganga, Yamuna and Narmada, she swam every river,
She pilgrimaged all places in the Hindu scriptures.

When my head panics and I fear death and sickness,
I remember your strong fight with cancer, diabetes and ailments big and small.

You have passed to the heavenly abode,
But I will always remember your gentle touch.

I wish I could be a little like you my dear grandma,
You will forever be in our hearts like a beautiful legacy now.

May you rest in peace Naniji ❤

 

SOUL OF LIFE

LIFE EDITOR

THE PUREST FORM OF LOVE IS PARENTS!!!

SEE THE LOVE IN THEIR EYES IF YOU WONT BUT THEY DOO!

THEY HAVE WORRIED MORE THAN YOU DOO!

NOBODY TRUST YOU THEY DOO!

YOU WILL LESS SPEAK BUT THEY BETTER UNDERSTAND!!

NOBODY WAITS FOR YOU THEY DOO!!

THEY WOULDNT TELL YOU SOMETIMES BUT BETTER BELIEVE THAT FROM BIRTH TO NOW YOU UNDERSTAND THEM!!!

MORE THAN YOU NEED THEY NEED YOU!!

WILL YOU FAITH AND BELIEVE IN TRUE LOVE BELIEVE IN PARENTS!!

THEY HAVE THE TRUE EMOTIONS AND ATTACHMENT!!

YOUR NEED IS THEIR FIRST PRIORITY!!

EITHER YOU IGNORE THEM BUT THEY WONT!!

THEY ARE ALWAYS BE THERE WHEN YOU DONT HAVE ANYONE!!

REMEBER WHEN YOU TAKE YOU FIRST STEP

BELIEVE ME BEFORE THEY GO RESCPECT, ADMIRE AND LOVE THEM ITS WILL BECOME BEST MOMENTS OF LIFETIME!!

WITHOUT THEM THERE IS NO MEANING OF LIFE THEY GIVES MEANING..…

YOU ARE LUCKY TO HAVE…

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Humor in a second language!

Comedy shows and amusing friends are always great. Laughter can be an icebreaker and even medicinal to the sick, it is almost like a second language of conversation (apart from the body language of course).  As adults, we only laugh about 15 times a day. Given how many hours we spent watching television and working, the number is small.

On the other hand, a child exhibits laughing 300 times or more per day. Imagine a baby being tickled, it always follows their sounds of enjoyment and the joy a parent in the situation experiences. Over the course of years, humans have invested in ways to make sure they have something to laugh about. Jokes, memes, comedians, sitcoms, funny home videos and more get shared and viewed regularly.

Now imagine that you are in a foreign country and need to speak a second language. Can you be just as funny in the other language as you would be in your native tongue? I always have looked in awe at those people who have a great sense of humor or even with sarcasm they can make others laugh. It is imperative that among friends or groups in conversation, humor keeps things interesting. Story-telling and teasing or sharing experience can only go so far in a chat. I think funny people have more friends.

It could just be the figment of my imagination, but I was always little funny in my native tongue. Now when I am expressing thoughts in a second language (English) it all seems non-traditional. It comes as a surprise because I did all my schooling in the globally popular English language.

Recently I watched a documentary on BBC showing how the human brain has immense potential. A child was speaking and learning multiple languages and indeed, the brain always stayed in tune with the required skill to grasp and process all the data.This article also indicates how Alzheimer’s and Dementia can be kept away with some linguistic skills. The hippocampus region of the brain processes various language switches.

For all intensive purposes of this article, I would say humor and language don’t always get along. I might have to sit through some more comedy night shows and maybe read some ‘knock knock’ jokes to be agreeably funny. Also, more research will be needed to fully understand the human psyche and what triggers the funny bones.

 

Happiness imagery or real?

 

We tend to keep changing over time and it is hard not to judge what you achieve over a long haul. Achievements in every aspect are not overseen by the society. Today I decided to come along and join a writers group but guess what shyness is still clinging to me. After months of talking to strangers, my inhibitions don’t leave me alone. So back to my topic about individual checklist and the inkling to compare and comment on where we stand is always strong but what should be the best way to do it?

If I think how far I have come today from that kid I was in school? Not anywhere close to the free spirit I was, it is just all complicated as we grow. I think my self-introspection is too harsh and I should give more time to grow, reach out and mold this notion I have about being an ideal person. I earn enough to get by and save some for future, I am not on the verge of hating my job and I laugh and cry like anybody else. Then as I sit by myself or come to introduce what I do to strangers there is a hint of embarrassment in my tone. As if everyone would know my dreams were crushed on my journey somewhere and now I fear even to start fresh.

Is happiness only measurable in success? Will I be happy just with achievements of my future children or will I be more passionate to explore and be ambitious? Does my private life define accomplishment or my possession and bank balance?

If I cover my doubts with reassuring thoughts will I be lying to myself or will it be positive thinking? I am always comparing the present day to the stone age if men would be happier without all these scales to compare their life to? Money, possessions, ambitions and the rushing to and fro for work is unnerving.

What could we do to even things out?

List your priorities: Not all individuals are homing birds or ambition driven, some just want to be left alone. There are individuals who take each day as it comes. A list of priorities will be ideal, but leave room for flexibility and change.

Don’t be judgmental: The world gets its laughter and joy from mockery and comparing. Don’t give it that pleasure to kill your spirits. All we need to do is live by our own rules. Falling down the cracks of imperfections will be a direct road to a depressed life scenario.

Cherish your accomplishment: You have worked hard to achieve degrees, relationships, awards, jobs and bonuses that come along with it. Your kindness could have made a person smile or a simple gesture did change one’s sorrow to joy. Give yourself a pat on the shoulder for getting through the roller coaster ride.

Set your own scale: Small goals always tend to bring joy when fulfilled. If a target is set for 10 years from now, you may not reach there or even get a little off track sometimes. Giving a 1 month or 6 week target followed by 10-month goal maybe more doable and achievable. Long term goals show us the prize, but we have to enjoy the race for its adrenaline rush as well.

Bring friends & family close: We shy away from people we know if there is any failure in our life. We fear to lose them, worry that they will misjudge us or lose faith in us. But it is not always true. Our social circles can be the endless source of guidance and support. Let them in your world and share the fears with them, you never know how their ideas can give the push you just needed.

Happiness is a state of mind and based on the situation in life and the number of goals achieved, one day can be infinitesimally different from another. So let break your self-imposed inhibitions and shackles so you can take on the next challenge.

Waterfall – nature’s blessing

 

Tutorial: Painting with Acrylic Inks

Learning some art now. This is amazing medium.

Jenny Dolfen Art

The latest huge new discovery of 2013 were acrylic inks (used to paint “Fog over Trasimene“). They’re quite similar to watercolours in many ways, but more versatile. They come in little bottles with eyedropper lids, just like the liquid watercolours I love to work with.

I’m working with three different brands here: FW Daler/Rowney Acrylic Artists Ink; Rohrer/Klingner Zeichentusche (drawing ink); and Liquitex Ink. The handling is almost identical to watercolours: I use them with my normal watercolour brushes, thinned down with water or undiluted. No changes there.

All the brands I use come in different opacity levels: from transparent like actual watercolours to opaque, and in this case, opaque is really opaque. I work with a selection of mainly transparent ones, to preserve my watercolour look, but have a few opaque ones, mainly light tones like white, for highlights. In order to keep them apart, I used…

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I was let go yesterday and I will survive.

This is a nationwide crisis going on, mass layoffs due to financial downturn. As I read about Enbridge cutting off 500 jobs on news, I felt pain in my heart. So many people and so many families affected. Little did I know same was coming for me as well? I could see the ache in our director’s eye when she was talking about the situation and trying to put in words why they have to let us go and get pay cuts them self. About 17 people in a company of more than 100 people were let go second time in the year. Deep inside, I knew this was coming at some point.

The road to somewhere

Just last week I was at my spouse’s graduation ceremony and saw the excitement of about 250 students who finished their school to move into workforce. All the dreams and hopes build over years now will meet the real world. A place where layoffs were so common and the currency just goes down the spiral, is there room for ambitions?

It is very saddening to hear about people losing their lives in terrorist attacks. I feel my sorrow is very insignificant compared to the lost and grieving families. I am still alive, so it is not the end yet. I can try for a new job again tomorrow and get back on my feet. During the last 2 years and 11 months of my employment, I have tried my best to give 100% effort. I was hardly sick and vacation was really a luxury.

As I thought frequently about moving forward in career and hoping to make a different future, this was a push from life to take the stand. I am now looking for a new job, a fourth chance in this country where people come to begin a new life. An engineer with a Ph.D. and a dreamer with M.Sc. are going to find their true calling and move ahead.

I like winter, more than summer because if it is cold you can layer up and still survive. Heat just destroys you inside out and so cold don’t bother us. So as it snowed outside, on day 1 of looking for a new career I am still struggling to realize I was let go yesterday. It was not my fault or my employers, but just a bad situation. The bills are still going to come through and find us. The stomach will still demand food and nutrition. I have to get through this and find a position to suit my qualification, goals and my interest.

I am hoping tomorrow will be better than yesterday and today is how I will make sure that happens. Good luck to everyone in the same boat.