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Loss is an unsettling agony

Death is unsettling. It doesn’t fit in your calendar and it even forgets to give a reminder. It just approaches unannounced and everything comes to a standstill. When we worry about missing an appointment or being late for work they seem petty issues if you consider death. My hubby keeps telling me birth, wedding and death are three big events of life. You have to be there for people at these stages if you care.

We all know about TTC and how every time there is a hope for new life your heart skips a beat. New life just like death comes randomly. We can try and hope and pray but it will happen when it happens. The jitters of first love, losing virginity and finding a partner for life come with a baggage. You can have second child and multiple birthdays or weddings, but death is ultimate. There is no retakes or repetitions for death. We don’t like to talk about it. We won’t blog about it or share it on social media, unless it is some popular individual. Death is mysterious and scary to be honest. You can be healthy, happy and honest one day but gone the next.

I am not ready for this, initially I imagined it wouldn’t be so bad to just leave the world tomorrow. Now the entire perspective is changed after my father-in-law passed away. May his soul rest in peace. He was a healthy individual, a loving and caring father and very charismatic helpful person in his society. People knew they could count on him and his network of hard working friends and colleagues. At the age of 61 he is survived by his wife, 2 daughters and a son. It wasn’t fair on any of us that death chose him.

I am frightened to think there must be hundreds of items on his agenda. He was attending his nephew’s wedding the next day, there must have been excitement and joy. No second chances at resetting his diary schedule. Just few gasps of air in his beloved wife’s arms at 4:00 am in the morning he left us all.

Everyone who came to the funeral spoke highly of him and was in shock. People came and paid their respects then left. There is no possibility of filling the voids in the hearts of his family. Only memories and few possessions and things to remember by. It is unfair to make plans for years down the road, to save for retirement and plan every aspect of life to micro level.

The process of leaving this world and going to another place, if reincarnation theory is true is painful. I cannot believe a person is gone just like my grand parents. Distance is a buffer, you lose them in person but their memories live as reality. The mourning period and the last rites all puzzle me so much. You shun the entertainment and daily routine and pray for the departed soul. It is hard, especially if you don’t feel the person is gone. Realizing the truth is harder than anything.

The families left behind can move forward but there seems nothing waiting in the path ahead. Everything comes to a standstill. With birth there is a supersonic speed added to families and marriages are certainly a new upgrade to couples life but death is not easy to describe. You cannot adjust, overcome or win over it. It is just an end. A silence leaving you amidst so many questions and thoughts, it is hard to fathom the realities and the design of life.

May your soul rest in peace dear dad & we get strength to continue existing.

 
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Posted by on June 17, 2015 in Experiences

 

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Death

It knows no time, it follows no day,

It swallows the rich & poor unchanged, come what may.

 

Some people fear it some simply pray,

The brave face it, old want to embrace it today.

 

Bringing sorrow to friends & family, relief to the enemy,

Beautiful /ugly, high/low, not excusing new born or the pretty eyed doe.

The day we start our journey we know,

Some day our life will end up like the melting snow.

 

Live life as it arrives each moment,

Spread joy to one and all, never be proud or adamant.

 

Pile up gold or buildings tall, acts count more, however small,

Your dignified glory may live but not the money after the last call.

 
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Posted by on June 27, 2012 in Writing

 

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