We tend to keep changing over time and it is hard not to judge what you achieve over a long haul. Achievements in every aspect are not overseen by the society. Today I decided to come along and join a writers group but guess what shyness is still clinging to me. After months of talking to strangers, my inhibitions don’t leave me alone. So back to my topic about individual checklist and the inkling to compare and comment on where we stand is always strong but what should be the best way to do it?
If I think how far I have come today from that kid I was in school? Not anywhere close to the free spirit I was, it is just all complicated as we grow. I think my self-introspection is too harsh and I should give more time to grow, reach out and mold this notion I have about being an ideal person. I earn enough to get by and save some for future, I am not on the verge of hating my job and I laugh and cry like anybody else. Then as I sit by myself or come to introduce what I do to strangers there is a hint of embarrassment in my tone. As if everyone would know my dreams were crushed on my journey somewhere and now I fear even to start fresh.
Is happiness only measurable in success? Will I be happy just with achievements of my future children or will I be more passionate to explore and be ambitious? Does my private life define accomplishment or my possession and bank balance?
If I cover my doubts with reassuring thoughts will I be lying to myself or will it be positive thinking? I am always comparing the present day to the stone age if men would be happier without all these scales to compare their life to? Money, possessions, ambitions and the rushing to and fro for work is unnerving.
What could we do to even things out?
List your priorities: Not all individuals are homing birds or ambition driven, some just want to be left alone. There are individuals who take each day as it comes. A list of priorities will be ideal, but leave room for flexibility and change.
Don’t be judgmental: The world gets its laughter and joy from mockery and comparing. Don’t give it that pleasure to kill your spirits. All we need to do is live by our own rules. Falling down the cracks of imperfections will be a direct road to a depressed life scenario.
Cherish your accomplishment: You have worked hard to achieve degrees, relationships, awards, jobs and bonuses that come along with it. Your kindness could have made a person smile or a simple gesture did change one’s sorrow to joy. Give yourself a pat on the shoulder for getting through the roller coaster ride.
Set your own scale: Small goals always tend to bring joy when fulfilled. If a target is set for 10 years from now, you may not reach there or even get a little off track sometimes. Giving a 1 month or 6 week target followed by 10-month goal maybe more doable and achievable. Long term goals show us the prize, but we have to enjoy the race for its adrenaline rush as well.
Bring friends & family close: We shy away from people we know if there is any failure in our life. We fear to lose them, worry that they will misjudge us or lose faith in us. But it is not always true. Our social circles can be the endless source of guidance and support. Let them in your world and share the fears with them, you never know how their ideas can give the push you just needed.
Happiness is a state of mind and based on the situation in life and the number of goals achieved, one day can be infinitesimally different from another. So let break your self-imposed inhibitions and shackles so you can take on the next challenge.